The opportunity to have a structured, one-on-one conversation with a stranger that wasn't small talk, but focused around meaningful subjects, was a unique and extremely valuable experience that was very enriching.
What was Stories of the new normal?
When the Applied Creativity team at The Edge were in the early stages of planning events to complement the Asia Pacific Architecture Festival (APAF) we asked some fundamental questions
- Who plans our cities, designs our buildings and objects and decides how our citizens live?
- Who lives in Queensland? How do they live in these cities, towns and buildings? How does the decisions by designers and planners affect them?
- And to combine the two questions into one - do our decision makers "know" their end user?
APAF 2023 seemed like a perfect time to get people meeting other people - not a soiree for "like-minded" people or a lecture to expose practitioners to design solutions - this was the time to get strangers to meet and learn about one another in order to inform our future.
This is where Stories of the new normal came from. The conversations were modelled on the Danish born Human Library concept but were more mutual meetings of complete strangers with topics unknown until the conversation unfolds. The experience offered attendees and speakers an opportunity to arrive with an open mind, and heart.
How did it work?
- Authentic speakers I had the help of Micah Projects, Upbeat Arts, Floodwise BCC and the Gabba Ward office as well as suggestions from colleagues at State Library.
- Paid speakers Payment as a speaker signals that you are valued, you are worthy and you are respected.
- Supporting speakers A relationship with the speakers was developed before their event including discussing what they would be happy to talk about. At the conversation a facilitator was close by and a debrief was included in their time.
- Ticketing The event was free. We used Eventbrite. Attendees could sign-up for a 25min time slot. We included a disclaimer that asked attendees to acknowledge that the conversation may cover topics such as trauma, mental health, domestic and family violence etc.
- Attendees Attendees were emailed before the event with the first name of the person they'll be meeting and a few words that might indicate topics that may be raised in the conversation.
- Conversation starters Each speaker agreed to a list of subjects or provocations they'd be happy to talk about. Attendees really appreciated these printed prompts because it gave them clear guidelines about what was OK to ask about, or something to turn to if the conversation needed impetus.
- Space it out This program ran 10 speakers over a 2 week period. Each speaker held a unique time. They met 4 attendees individually for 25 minutes each (with a small break in between)
Words heard
Reflections on the event from attendees
I loved the way chatting to a stranger pushed me outside my comfort zone in such a rewarding way. It was so lovely to chat to Steph and hear about her life experiences. She was so candid and approachable and I am so grateful for her generosity in sharing some of her life and experiences with me. Nat was very welcoming and the session was efficiently run. I also enjoyed the location, a beautiful backdrop for a chat!
It was extremely humanising to hear the harsh reality that she had to endure as a woman suffering domestic violence, and then violence through abandonment from an unforgiving system, that should be more understanding and considerate of the hardship women endure. The resilience of her spirit shone through and reminded me that women are the most formidable force on this planet, to continue to raise kids and be determined to not be torn down from a violent system or a violent partner.
Usually when I meet someone new, I refrain from asking personal questions out of the fear that it may be inappropriate. But to talk with someone new about their life experience in a safe, respectful, kind manner allowed me to connect with them on such a deeper level and share the experiences that make up being a human.
I really enjoyed meeting someone without any expectation that something had to be achieved. Practising listening to the person, rather than having to intervene or provide solutions, or even feedback. Hearing someone making sense of their own world, but being vulnerable and open at the same time.
It was a face to face, invigorating conversation with a smart and interesting stranger. I learnt lessons and reflected on myself.
I gained a lot of insight into the reality of homelessness and domestic violence and how to support someone facing these challenges.
The opportunity to have 1:1 interaction with a stranger is rare, but to have an interaction where both parties are coming together willingly and openly to discuss those topics is even more rare. The intimacy allowed for such a genuine and honest sharing of stories to occur that has changed my perspective on so many things.
I loved the opportunity to learn about someone’s personal story and being able to ask questions in a safe and non-judgemental environment
I loved the openness of the people to talk about difficult life experiences in a spirit of mutual understanding
It was lovely to hear someone else's experiences and to see that despite the vast differences in our lives, there were still things that could be connected over.
Making stories of the new normal, normal!
In our busy work and personal lives, our mission is often the relentless search for a solution, judgements, outcomes, and achievements. It is rare for us to devote energy and resources to listening, being open and simply accepting. What would be the universal outcome if we expanded our listening quotient and decreased our to-do-list?
Stories of the new normal offered this opportunity. The feedback from attendees was unanimous - there was a feeling of freedom and unfurling by being allowed to just listen, accept the story told, and then consume it as they chose to. Attendees felt a definite shift from their "bubble". Most admitted that these conversations were not ones they would normally have in their day-to-day life and that they appreciated the sweet and sour taste of this new experience.
One of the main takeaways from the Accessibility forum: You CAN ask that!, which also ran during APAF, was that our designers and planners need to seek counsel from the users before they make assumptions or touch the drawing board. A similar thread was woven through the conversations during Stories of the new normal - had government organisations, churches, planners and decision makers stopped to listen to the needs of their community much of the trauma experienced would not have occurred. A little less action, a whole lot more conversation, please!
The program, and this blog, do not propose that the marginalisation or hardship faced by these speakers will ever be an easy one to minimise, solve or prevent. The conversations only confirmed that people experience multi-generational trauma, that addiction is tied cruelly to mental health disorders, and vice versa, rusted-on discrimination in many areas of our community, government and organisations exist, and that there will always be is a tangled web of issues with no real sole cause, but many.
This program demonstrated that storytelling is potent. The act of listening to a story immediately sets one up to be open to possibility. In hearing and analysing the story, we make connections to our own experiences, with the added value of feeling enhanced. The act of telling your story empowers the storyteller to make sense of their own life, gives power to their existence and elevates their standing in their community. Storytellers are empowered by the respect, validation and acceptance that their role demands.
You can be sure that Stories of the new normal will have an enduring effect. Snippets of ideas and beliefs will propagate from these encounters long after June 2023.
33 conversations, 10 inspiring stories
The conversations
Comments
Your email address will not be published.
We welcome relevant, respectful comments.